上海英语学习

本期沙龙主题：分手专家   主讲老师：Connor

结束一段感情是人一生中最难做的事情之一，伤心欲绝，很快那个曾经的爱人会称呼你为前男友或者前女友。当然，能够走到这一步绝对也是万不得已的，但是为什么让人如此恐惧编队分手的那一刻呢？这是因为我们不想伤害对方...
Ending a relationship is one of the hardest things you can do, it breaks your heart inside, and your soon to be ex-partner. Sure, you have your reasons to break up with them, but how come it is still so hard? Because we don't want to break their hearts...

特邀嘉宾：
Vincent wen  心理学家，感情问题处理专家，分手专家

热点问题：
How do you break up? Is there any story we could share? What is the most difficult part? any tip?

文章导读：

Breaking up is rarely easy. You both had feelings for each other at one point, and maybe you still do. The key is to do it maturely, without deliberate pain, so that you can both move on with your lives and find someone better suited for you. A relationship really needs two fully committed people, so if one of you doesn't want to be in the relationship any more, it's best for BOTH of you to end it. That's the key message to get across.

Don't get into lots of blame-finding. There is always fault on both sides in a relationship that fails. Make sure you sit down face to face somewhere quiet. Never break up over the phone or via email, that's completely unfair. A relationship is based on trust and dependability - don't prove you're unworthy of that in the final hour. Sit down and explain it's not going to work. If your partner has questions, answer them as fairly as you can, but without going into lots of back-stabbing. Breaking up isn't about finding fault. It's about you both being able to find "closure" to this relationship so you are able to then move on to a new one.

It's really in both of your best interests to end this cleanly. If you don't, it will come back to haunt you in many ways. If you can both accept that this was simply not meant to be, and that somewhere out there a new person awaits which IS perfect for each of you, you might even be able to stay friends. Or if not, you can look back on your time together as an enjoyable experiment which just didn't work out the way you'd originally hoped.

 分手必读关键词 Key Words:
 
cushion the beat     beat around the bush     hook up     play hard-to-get    Band-Aid     Long Distance relationship    Get Over   Chase    Flirt      have a secret crush on sb     dump  

分手秘诀
Break Up Tip:

Tip 1:If you are sure you want to break up with somebody, it is best done sooner rather than later. However, if your partner has had a particularly bad day already, you may want to consider waiting for a better moment. Breaking up with them when they are already down will make the break-up much harder for both of you.
Tip 2:While honesty is the best policy, you may want to focus on the fundamental issues destroying the relationship and not nitpick on the little annoyances that drive you
mad. Those annoyances are usually symptoms of the underlying problems--we're far more likely to get annoyed, irritable, and frustrated when we know the relationship isn't working out.

分手必看电影：
The Moive You Must Watch. The Break Up Artist